Dropping the Chains

There was a time when I could not see the day, where the brisk air never  touched my face
Loneliness, pain, and desperation were my only companions as I wallowed in pity
Pity of my own making for my own self, so that I wouldn't have to receive it and
Take it in from those that I care about, because then that would be too close,
So near to the root, the source of who I am and I couldn't bear to let that happen
To be stripped bear and allow all the ugly that I am out and into the arms of friends
Loved ones who are the treasure of my life shouldn't have to see me at my worst
The terrible thing that I am, but I know now just how wrong and back handed I have been
The real torture has not been on me but those same dear ones whom I cherish
This, the destroyer of my world, is what I choose to defy and stand against
Throwing off the robes of bondage and embracing the solace for which I should have
Freedom! Liberation! No longer struggling under the ball and chain holding me captive
Keeping me from flying off and experiencing life that way it should be

Worried, terrified and held captive by fears and follies which I have committed
To be let out, to be freed of these bounds and let to run and do what I was made to do
Oh what exhilaration, joy without bounds and words unspeakable in their  excitement
I head toward to dawn and the sunset, embracing the bitter sweet with their rise and fall
Knowing that with this my love and the love of others for me shall be embraced as we
Fly on

Foolish Heart

Oh heart of mine, who's foolishness knows no bounds
how could you betray me so and break the word of my honor?
Does not friendship mean more than the constant palpitation
of your many chambers, throwing me into nervous tension,
waiting on every word and every move that the bane of our existence should make?
Should we cast out this fire that is trapped within our being and take flight
running as we have before and seeking refuge among the stars,
the sea, and the road ahead, and the path behind?
What can i say that we should do or say in order to be rid of such a poison
which takes control of our limbs and makes our chest ache so fiercely
Rather i think you are my bane and my bane the cure
to this incessant wringing of hands, blinking away of tears
and throbbing in my core for a passion in which may never come to fruition
Be still oh bleeding warrior of many battles and long dead loves
Your time is not come to fight yet again bur rather take rest in this
 that the time might come soon and your long awaited challenge might be at hand
Victory very well may be within your reach should the envy of your eye
look with favor upon the deeds that you long to commit with fervor
Seek out that passion, that foolish desire, the bane of your existence,
that love which you hunger for with all of your being,
make it yours if it will have you, offering yourself as a lamb for slaughter
be bold and strong in this and love without fail

Come

Come with me, away to the sea

with the sound of a soft sweet sigh
to a place where you and i, can finally meet
and swim away the sorrow of yesterday
Come with me, to the mountains peak
where echos the cry of a lonely heart
that with your love, we might soar above
and leave our troubles far behind
Come away with me, to the open fields
where the wild flowers bloom for all time
and knowing you, avoid winters gloom
in your radiant beauty's sunshine
Come with me, my dear
for we must go and build this place that is our own
A castle it will be, for and me
and find in each other our home

Starting Again

So, I wanted to start a blog just to unload pretty much without censor about my life and i remembered, Dude, I totally have a blog already. I'm back and ready for action in this next series of posts until my mind decides to forget that this exists.

What IT be Like...

This semester and year has been a tremendous test already for me. I am finding though that my own biggest enemy is myself in all of these things, go figure. If only i had listened better to my parents, past leaders and professors, and the majority of books about getting my butt into gear. Well hear we go again. There's always something to learn and learning this again for the umpteenth time is going to be absolutely killer.
Work is about to pick up for me witch is a great benefit that the Lord is providing for me, Halelujah. It looks like it will be semi consistant construction/agriculture work with a friend from church. I don't mind it being a physically straining thing since i dont get to put many hours into outdoor activities with the mountain of homework that I have.(Note to self: finish Exegesis on 1 Samuel 15) The money should take care of some of my expenses and chip away at my loans if i can play my cards right.
Classes are amazing and i find them quite rewarding when i look at the bigger picture on the semester and so then i put my head back down and plow away at what seems sometimes to be hours of busy work. I know this to be my minds way of saying one of these things: 1)I'm getting really worn out 2) This is not very challenging right now 3) Cant we all just stop this crazy roller-coaster? No matter what its worth it to me. One class in particular, Spiritual Gifts, has been so annoying to me because i know this even if it doesn't seem i do. However, after a good talk with my professor i found i can look at the class in a different light and look forward to future study into my own giftings and walk with the Lord.
Final thing on the discussion board is my "love life." Such nonsense is to be discussed because it is necessary to work out the knots in my chest in order for my soul to be released to my life's dedication. More and more I am asked about who I am interested in and called to give voice names that might as well be shackles to my ankles. Foolishly I look and keep watchful eye for ladies full of love, beauty and grace to steal my soul away. In this i have not found the one in which i seek, but of course this is an action fouled by the deceit of a mind in fear of pain. However pessimistic I may come across, I am oceans away from being. My heart in reality simply wont stop bleeding, and I must deal with its daily burning, the wretched romantic. I truly long for the day that I can have a constant companion at my side.  If answers I must give then this it shall be:

My Love,
Wherever you are, I will find you. If it takes every bit of my strength, the endurance of my every bone breaking, or the crossing of great seas and perils then so be it. You will be mine and my heart will be yours forever. Pray for me.
Love
Daniel

Me and The Boogie Man in My Closet

Hey everyone,
I know it's been a while since i posted anything but it was because i was really trying to avoid it believe it or not. Reason being, I had to do something I have been terrified of do since before I can remember and to be completely honest, I have no idea why. It could be many reasons, but I think the biggest of them is because I don't want to be hurt again like that. Doesn't make much sense to me why that would be but I think that maybe, it really was the reason I didn't want to talk to him again. I may never understand the reasoning behind my fear, but it has been faced, and in the Lord's unimaginable strength, I have come out the other side still here, still me.

I would like to write about how I see this, how I feel about the whole situation. Truth be told, I sat here for and hour this morning starting and restarting and staring at this blog post, trying to get it out. I've had no such luck, but all things in time. My Father has me and that is all I need.

Thank you Joshua for standing strong and courageous when the Lord told you to be, taking the promise land with full confidence in the Lord and His amazing might and power. Thank you David for facing the giant Goliath and knowing that our Father would deliver him into your hands. Thank you Daniel for the boldness to stand in plain view of all while you prayed, knowing that you would go to the lions. Somehow you and I have both come out unscathed. Thank you Without you i would have certainly fallen.

Daniel 6:21-23(King James Version)
²¹Then said Daniel unto the king, "O king, live for ever. My God hath sent his angel, and hath shut the lions' mouths, that they have not hurt me: forasmuch as before him innocency was found in me; and also before thee, O king, have I done no hurt." Then was the king exceedingly glad for him, and commanded that they should take Daniel up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den, and no manner of hurt was found upon him, because he believed in his God.

Blessings to you all, my most precious loved ones.

Me

Why am I so Soft?

If you read this  blog, sorry ahead of time. I'm a real person, unlike those you see around you, and I don't like hiding behind a false face and say everything is ok when sometimes its not. This just happens to be one of those days.

Ok, so stuff will always come up in life that hurts. I'm used to it. After twenty one years of life I can say that I have some authority on the issue. Why then is my heart still so soft? Why does it hurt when things happen to me? Why would the careless words of a dear friend cause such pain? Sometimes I just don't understand myself. I have endured so much, been injured so badly, and yet my heart is still so easily cut, as if the years of torture and suffering that it has endured was never there. There are moments where I just wish I was different, cold, unfeeling even. It would certainly take care of my heart problems. I know though, that I must endure and continue on my walk into my purpose. Without this heart I would be unable to do what I was made to do.

Lord be my shield and my strength. I need you now as I always have and always will. I long to rest in your arms Daddy.

Up to the 4th

Hey guys,
Been a little while since i last posted so here goes nothing.

I have had a few more of those top secret lessons I mentioned before and let me say, each one just gets better and better and I love it more and more. Funny since it used to be something that I was terrified of. Anyway, Last week was pretty normal and boring, unfortunately, until a dear friend and brother of mine showed up at my work and took me to see Transformers. It totally made my day, so let me just say, Thank you Berto! You rock man.

I had an awesome 4th of July, possibly the best ever. I was at a friend of mines for the very first time on this wonderful holiday and I was so happy to be there. I haven't hung out with these guys in forever and I feel so blessed to have been having the pleasure of being with them on this great day in our nation. After eating 3 Ib of food, swimming, throwing kids in the pool, singing random songs, dancing around, talking too much, laughing as much as possible, and soaking in the good times I took off to see my family.

If any of you guys know my family you know that they are absolutely amazing and pretty much gifted/cursed with being everyone's favorite family to visit. SO, I show up at the house to find no open parking spots on the street anywhere, not my family's fault but due to the fact that everybody parties hard on my street, and I parked down the street at my friends. When i got in the house I found cousins, uncles, aunts, my grandma, and coolest of all, my Uncle Tony. I was once again invited to eat 5 Ib more food, which i did happily, and I enjoyed all the small talk and laughs that come with being in my crazy family(Trust me. We talk about some crazy stuff. Anybody want to hear about my dad's point system with my mom?..Yah). So after that epic-ness was over, we went outside and threw around the football while dodging traffic that was trying to find parking spots on the street. More and more people continued to show up at our house and I couldn't have been happier about it. The fireworks were good but the company watching them were some much better. I spent the whole time looking at the sky while talking to my mom and sister. It was great.

After all the family and friends went home I watched Mr and Mrs Smith with my sister and her boyfriend. It was a great way to end the night.

Ya. It's late and there is more to talk about but I need to sleep. So, talk to you guys soon. Remember to live like the lions that you are.