Thursday, June 30, 2011

Facing a Fear...and Feeling like I'm Winning

So, I started this year off feeling really restless. It was like I was in a rut i couldn't get out of no matter what i said or did ya know? Well I got some help from some very dear friends and family. They all talked to me about what I am facing, the reason why I started this blog in the first place and have been keeping account of my exploits(I got to use that word. Makes it sound like more of an adventure.) The basic conclusion? That I am afraid, and the only way to get out of my rut is to face what I am afraid of.

I started out with College and actually trying to get in to the one that I wanted to go to in High School and getting accepted and going through all the proccess that brings with it. That part of the story, as you know if you have been reading my posts, has continued into the Faith Project: relying on Father to  bring the money I need to pay for this new venture. I have also initiated my papers to study in Israel in the Spring. This is one heck of a ride haha.

My new venture, which I started today, is another fear of mine, possibly the oldest fear that I have really. I won't tell you what it is until it has been thoroughly routed or I have faced it and can now perform with joy this act. Anyway, the first lesson that I had today was AMAZING. I think I found a new love, sorry ladies. My goal is to have overcome this thing and be able to perform on my own with proficiency in a month. WOOHOO! How that for a challenge? It might not be for some  but this is definitely one for me. I think it is all the easier done though with my Dad, Joe, by my side. He is the greatest man I have ever met.

Anyway. till next time, blessing on you my brothers and sisters. I love you with a love that overcomes and sees through all that you have done, feel that you are, and touches to your real self, which is beautiful to behold.

Me

Friday, June 24, 2011

Making Tough Decisions

SO, I have some awesome stuff going on in my life. The new school, incredible friendships growing, moving again( this time into a dorm), and I guess just doing things that I didn't think I would ever do before.

With this awesomeness comes a test of life or two. The only way that going to school works is if you can pay for it somehow. I don't have enough financial aide to pay for all of it that way, and actually i can only pay for about half. So, I did what any good student would do...I went and talked to my parents about it. You see, my family has never taken care of itself as it should, being to busy giving to others and all that. My Dad wants to take care of school for me so bad but he can't and I have already told him that he doesn't need to and shouldn't have to. So the question is, How do we pay for this incredible journey?

I am working and am able to save a little money, though it isn't much. My Dad wants to take care of some of it too, and I got some old savings from Grandma Lin, thank and God bless you as you talk with the Lord in Heaven this Day! However, it isn't enough to take care of it all for the year, and I still got the following years to take care of. In short, I need a miracle.

There is one other thing that I have prayed much about and thought hours upon in recent times. My biological father was a Navy man and I know that if i get in contact with him i might be able to take care of school completely. This would be incredible. The only thing is, I have not seen or talked to him since the day he left 17 years ago. I don't want to just use him for money, but i need it and he can give it to me. I also know that once i contact him he will keep in touch with me, and maybe more than that. There are lots of complication that go into the whole situation. Contact with me may cause him to think its ok to just come when he wants. There are other family issues to take into consideration. And he may be troublesome.

Its a big box to look at and do I want to open it? I have no doubts that I am going to the school i should be and that I am on the path that I am meant to be on. There is just a question as to how I progress from here. What is the correct decision to make? Lord give me wisdom in this and guide my steps.

Blessing all

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Me and LOVE and my love

I started writing about Joshua today but my heat led me to convey in word what is pressing on my inner self today and every day. I guess it's because I'm just built for Love(our Father) and to be loved by someone. Eh...What can I say? I'm a romantic

If you know me, you know that I am different from anyone you have ever met. I do not brag or boast in saying this. If you were to take anyone and compare our hearts though, you would find this to be true. Most people do not and cannot understand love to any extent. I do not presume to say that I know and understand Love in its entirety. This is just not a conceivable feat for any human being to do, unless your Jesus Christ. I will say though, I know Love better than most and am capable of depth in it that nobody I personally know can touch. Rough stuff really since a Wife in my future would have to deal with a kind of intensity in love and adoration that is even in my own eyes, insanity to its very core. The old saying about Love is true. Love is blind. By choice, it looks not on what has been done but to the heart of the one that is hurting so much they would act out on their darker impulses.

Love is so much more than what everyone thinks or feels. I know we also hear it said that it is a choice that has to be made and lived. This is what I believe love is and have lived it to be in my life. Love sees the need in the eyes of every man and woman around you, and cries as it works on their heart through a hello and God bless you. And when the strangers around it are long gone and on their way its speaks silent prayers of blessing and healing in their lives. Love sees a neighbor and shouts with joy as it helps carry groceries in from their car and asks how their day was, listening as good and the bad fall on the table simply comforting as it happens. It shows itself in all its glory when the high and mighty fall and are taken in by the previously poor and oppressed, ever seeing them as His. It gives its last meal to another even if it hasn't eaten in days, and rejoices. Though someone cause it pain it sees that person as its brother and embraces the ill, taking it into itself so that a part of love's heart is given to the pain causer. Love sees its lover say goodbye and still, through tears, lets go of her hand and forgives, not angry, broken and torn it may be forever.

I think I made some of what I see clear. I don't see crowds around me. I see lot of lost and lonely souls, hungry hearts, yearning that never ends for a Love they will never understand and, I pray, will come to meet and start to see. When I am with a portion of my family I cry on the inside, tears of utter joy for  being blessed with knowing them. I am more at peace when surrounded by those I care about then I ever am alone, even when they may not like me. What can I say? I am crazy after all. I'm crazy in love with Love and my love.
May the Love of my life bring my love to me and open the depths of my heart even more so that I can let the wells out for others to take of.

Oh... And love, my lover that i know so well yet I do not know, find me. I am ill without you.

Blessings guys.

Joshua

I was reading in Joshua yesterday. Right now this book is my most favorite. I have read it a few times and still i can't get enough of it. It is exactly what i need to see in my life right now. I should be living as Joshua did.

Joshua is made the leader of Israel when Moses dies by the Lord and there is a really awesome dialogue between them. First Dad says that its Joshua's turn to take up "Moses his servant" role as leader and he tells him to have courage and not fear.

Ok, seriously, when i get to heaven I want to be called "Daniel my servant" or "Daniel the man after My own hear." It means that Moses had a mission, a position, a destiny to take on, and he did so to the best of his ability and was smiled upon by God our Father. Someday I want to hear Him call me like this, because the truth of it is, I hunger to be adored and seen as a doer of His Word, hungry for his presence,  and a man that has lived according to the plan that He has stretched before me with all the life and passion that He has made me to carry in my heart.

Back to Joshua. So the Lord tells him he is now the leader and will take the people of Israel into the promise land. He also states in the first chapter something so vital he repeats it over and over again. The Lord our God says to Joshua, "Be strong and courageous!" He says it 3 times to Joshua. When things are repeated in the Bible it always means its very important that you pay attention to my words and heed them.

From here Joshua goes and starts the taking of the promise land. Its a story of triumphant victory through amazing miracles God does for and through his people. Joshua is the man in my point of view. He just leans on Dad. Its incredible really. I wish it was as easy as it obviously is for him. I pray I reach his spot of Faith soon cuz there is alot of stuff to be worried about in a bad way in my life hat i would like the courageousness to see taken care of by our Father.

Also when the people take their first city, Jericho, one of the men falls into sin and causes the whole of Israel to pay for it with a defeat at the hands of the men of Ai. Joshua is instantly in such a state of complete abandonment to the seeking of the Lord that I am abashed of my own seeking. I should be as radical as he is! I'm a warrior too! Why don't I throw myself at his thrown and tear my clothes and cry out in complete surrender to his will as Joshua? I seriously need to work on that.

Then God guides him to the source of their problem, Joshua bring correction as directed by the Lord to be, unfortunate for the family of Achan, but it is done and they are once again in his blessing. Joshua speaks with the Lord and says how do i beat these guys? Our Dad is so good ya know that? He tells Joshua this. He says, paraphrasing," go out to meet them in battle but have some of your warriors in ambush behind the city..." Uh... Lord. Where is the rest of the plan? haha. I love it.  Our Father just made Joshua think for himself. Whats better, Joshua actually DOES think for himself and makes a masterful plan of attack.

He has some of his guys wait in ambush behind the city while we draw the enemy out into the open, but attack the CITY when i give the signal. They draw the enemy out into the open, Joshua gives the signal, the ambush rushes into the city and sets it on fire, the enemy forces are in disarray and the ambush comes charging from the city into the flank of the enemy while the rest of Israel, which had been making "retreat" before turn and start the real blood bath. Awesome. God had Joshua complete a thought for Him. haha. And Joshua aced it with flying colors.

I could talk so much more on this but i think it will work better in another post. So for now, Blessing my family and may the Lord shine on you and make you as Lions, with Courageous Strength!

Monday, June 20, 2011

I totally Fell in Love with this Song

I am in love with this song. I just love the Lyrics and I can see myself saying these words.
Enjoy


"Marry Me"

Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm

How about some Poetry?

Hey. This is just a piece of work i started the other day. Tell me what you think, leave comments and stuff.


"The Way She Tread" by Daniel(Me)
across the sands toward the distant shore
though dead and dry twas the path she tread
she would not be shaken from her quest
for she knew its deep meaning and importance
would be found at the end in her core
evicting a change in soul and spirit
that would forever make her mortal self
the essence of beauty and wisdom
bestowed to her through the trial and tribulation
in honor and glory of the narrow way she went

Hustle'N

Wow. So there has been craziness going on since I last posted.

Recap
I found out that I am able to receive something like 12 Gs in financial aide but i still need to cover 13 more in order for this school to work out. I might be able to take care of it with help from the GI Bill for war vets and their kids. Looking into it as we speak actually.

Also, I have started my new job with a summer camp program called Eureka! This is seriously so much fun. I miss working with kids so much. Working with adults that drive all day long in traffic is terrible in comparison. Its like cherries and potatoes. Kids are sweet and full of life, ready for the next adventure, adults are grumpy, lumpy, cuss too much, need naps too often, and get on ya for their mess ups. I probably left a lot out there but you get the idea.


Uh... I seriously ran out of time right now. I have been cooking my Dad a special breakfast since i couldn't see him on Father's Day because of work. I also have been rushing laundry and doing other such hassles of life while trying to type this post out, haha. I need to sleep before i get ready for work in 5 hours.
I will finish with the rest soon.

Blessing and may the Lord keep you as you dream

Friday, June 10, 2011

Letter to My Love

Hello My Love,

I write to you in the most dire of circumstances. You see, I was feeling ill and it was recommended by a friend that I see a physician. The physician has deemed that I, I am sorry to say, have a condition of the heart. The peculiar nature of it is this,over time there is a gradual cessation of the hearts functions and asphyxiation due to lack of oxygen in the blood will be my passing. The only known treatment, I'm afraid, is the eternal presence of my once true love at my side. So, in saying all of this, I pray that you make hast to find me for I fear the end may come soon.

                                                                      Eternally Yours,
                                                                                Daniel Valenzuela

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Epic Times

Last week I had the most amazing time with two of my most favorite people in the world. It started out like this. I got a message from a sister of mine to see if I wanted to hang out on Tuesday but I had to go to a meeting for my new job, which is completely incredible.( I get to work with and teach kids again) We set up for us to hang out on Friday with our brother. Friday morning I was awake at 6am to a beautiful day and had a little reading time and went to see my parents and pick up my sisters camera, wish i had one myself.

Then i drove out to pick up my sister in Huntington, and we drove up the PCH talking, laughing and having a grand time. Then we headed in to LA to meet with our brother. We ran some errands and hit the Grove. I absolutely love these two. They are amazing. We had a blast talking it up, getting some pizza, I let my sis take picks with a model, went through the stores, had root bear floats, took a load of pictures, and had a bodaciously awesome day. We ended it by going back to Huntinton to get her car and back to my parents house for some fruit salad I made. Delish. Nuff Said. I have missed them so much and I can't express how incredible it was to be with them. Thank you for being with me.

Today I spent my time relaxing until the main event of the day, celebrating with Stevie, one of my students. He is an excellent student and has received a incredible award of academic excellence for a second time. I am so proud of him. He is and will be an awesome young man of God and a powerful warrior for the cause of Christ. So, we drove out to the AMC in the Hills and watched Kung Fu Panda 2. Honestly, I was surprised with the epicness of this movie. I had a blast just talking to him and spending some time with this great young man. I am honored to be his leader.

After taking him home I found myself feeling downcast and alone, for no reason at all. Why I found myself in such a state, especially after having a blast with my student Stevie, I have no idea. I, however, made sure not to stay in such a state and made straight for, God bless Tuesdays, my church life group. There, in the presence of family, I was refreshed and my strength renewed with the presence of the people I love, and the God I adore above all else.

How blessed am I to have a family that is so incredible. I am completely overcome with emotion at the thought of what each and ever one of them mean to me, no matter if I have known them for years or if I have met them this past week. I pray for you all, that my Daddy in Heaven will guard, watch over, be along side of, go before, and dwell in each of you and make His plan and purpose known to you for your lives. Most importantly that He would open your eyes to the magnitude of His love for you.

Blessing my brothers and sisters

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

My Future My Friend

So yesterday was an awesome day. My mom has been wanting to go check my new college out and I have been willing to oblige her but being a poor man, as all college kids are, I only wanted to go visit the campus if I had some business to attend to. Fortunate for us both, and with no loss to my bank account thank Jesus, I had to pay for some fees that would get the ball rolling for the selecting of classes and such. So we went and visited the campus and met with the admissions counselor. As we were leaving she asked if we wanted a tour and of course we said yes because my mom wants to know where everything is going to be and what I will be up to while I'm away from home. Mother's never change.

The tour was good and made all the more awesome since I had my little brother with me, the little ladies man, and he was doing his usual cute bid and catching everyone's attention. It was good to see the campus with someone who knew where everything was and I know my mom had a good time. After the tour I drove my mom and brother home and took off to meet with a good friend of mine.

We met up at the Brea Mall and had lunch. This particular friend and I had not been exactly talking for some time now and with me friends are as dear to me as family members. Needless to say it had been a sore spot in my heart to not have this person at my side when it came time to tag up some posters. Anyhow, we talked and sought out some answers from each other and, I think, are headed down a path that will bring us more joy than we knew before in our friendship. Father guide us and bring wisdom and joy to our friendship that we may be as brother and sister in your kingdom.

After leaving Brea Mall I took off to rescue a friend from walking home from school for the millionth time and went home to relax for a bit. I headed off to a meeting for a new job I have as a camp counselor for Eureka Summer Camp, a summer program headed by a wonderful teacher and woman of God. We planned and brainstormed for a few hours and I know from some of the ideas gathered that this is going to be an epic ministry.

All said and done, yesterday was a great day.

I leave you with a this

Live your life as your heart guides you
Live and know life's joy and sorrow
for the path you take is one to cherish
its lows and heights a course to relish
breathe ever breathe as it is your last
Live for present regardless how you lived your past
Take every chance to see your dreams come true
reach up and take what God has given you
a chance to fly and shoot for the moon
some day you'll see we sail among the stars