What the World Needs

When I wake, brush up, and tune into whats going on in the world
I see just how upside down and backwards this place we call home is
I mean the wars and the gossip, the backstabbing in politics
it all just seems to be so twisted as the average man fights to keep his head lifted
And its not like we don't see what's really going on in this world
but we'd rather keep silent and stay normal then stand and take a chance
risking it all, our reputations, our relationships and the base things we 'need'
But does it really come down to that stuff in this world, the pompous greed?
is this what counts or is it the balance in my checkbook that keeps me grounded
I don't see how humanity is solid in the rising and falling of the stock market
or how the purse that you wear gives you the prestige, a badge of honor
because like I've already said to you before this, the things we 'need'
are all lost in the mix of it, since in the end we 'need' newer and better
and the past badge of the master becomes a lame chain to fashion disaster
The fact that I don't have nothing to talk about leaves me at the bottom
but i think standing here I can see better all the problems since
its here were the base of society needs the support, the love and aide
since they don't know which way to run or turn with this fake parade
displaying all of life's glory in it great fatness and greed, putrid in reality
standing on a pedestal that we make with our depravity of mind and body
We need to wake up, smack some water up into our faces, clear our heads
start getting on the page that's turning things around for the poor and destitute
to see the world to the next day to day process of healing, flipping thing back
right side up and facing the path that has meaning for both the rich and poor
This is the destination and the goal of a world recovering its soul

Babblings of a Cynical Romantic

Is every man to love and to fall in love?
That is a question that I have asked myself a great many times
Now some might ask whether I doubt love when I say this
This is hardly the case, since I myself am a great lover
one who respects and adores to the greatest extent my heart can
However, my question does not lie on friendship but partnership
You see, I do not believe that every man can fall in love
and just as I believe this I also must admit something else
I do not believe that ever man that can love will get the chance
for there are so many things, great and terrible, set to divide,
to betray and to steal all opportunities at such a thing as love
To be honest, this is one of my great struggles, the fear of it all
That I, this great lover, should fail to find love for myself
The possibility that I will not receive the love of another
That I am destined to walk and love it all alone, companion less
Possibly the greatest betrayal of all life is this simple matter
Were there evidence to suggest the strength of difference
I would gladly cling to it, for all I have pursued say otherwise
That I am a great lover and someone fortunate will have me
But why not make it themselves, if I truly am what they say?
Does having a friendship turn into something else frighten?
Is attraction such a monster that it abandons me completely?
I don't know that I can be persuaded to another point
Though lover I am, my heart and mind cling to cynicism
Denying the hope that does exist in attempt to protect the soul
The truth is, I have no answer to the first question to claim
Divided, I wander to and fro in order to find the truth of it
And in apathetic stupor, suppose that either will be fine for me
But the heart of it is that I desire my companion and wish
Hoping that the wish will come true, that I will find you

We the Sea

Come away with me, into the sea, a place were tears and laughter are one
Out into the deep, into the crushing, loving depths, far from yet near to the sun
ceaselessly moving, continually changing, turmoil in its very essence
the waves of its surface and the calm of its bottom, such a familiar presence
like the inside of my soul, unending turmoil and change it knows
yet in the midst of its crashing and smashing, the constant, oldest of all flows
Like an eternal past, its horizon stands unending from the shore
Yet the life that it holds, so new and young, is the heart of the sea, it's very core
So like the sea let us be so young and so bold and untamed in our youth
Let the wisdom of ancients and endless past guide us into the truth
Seeking the joys and sorrows of a new day and regretting nothing we've done
Pushing forward into our destinies, seeking our fate, things we can't outrun

Two Great Days

       Hello to all of you who read any portion of the posts that I leave on this blog. Today's post is not one of my usual pieces of work that I write but rather something of my life. This is my first post about myself in a very long time, as it has been quite the journey and has brought me down many trails and challenges. I will not start with these and catch you up to where I am currently, however, I will bring to share the joy that I have felt in these past two days. Joy like I have not experienced in some time, over the breaking of bread and the bonding of old friends again.
       I visited six friends, of which I will not name, in these past days and my time was them was one of complete rest and rejoicing in my own heart. I thank the Lord even now as I write for these people who live their lives as they should, completely true to themselves and each other. Should this not be truth I have yet to discover them so in all the time that I have known them and would consider such a moment as one where I need step in and take great care of them, body and soul.

       The first day, I spent my time in Agoura Hills visiting some friends who currently intern at a great church. They took me with them to visit some other friends in the course of the day after their work was done at the church and we spent time swimming, getting gelato, talking, eating, and enjoying each other's company as we have for the past year of college. I cannot help but miss them even now, though it has only been twenty four hours since I last was with them.

       Parting with them would have been more difficult had I been making my way home, but this not being the case, I looked forward to being with three more of my friends and past roommates. I cannot express, once again, the joy that I felt at seeing these great men and friends after a month of being away from each other. The night was late but we gave little heed, and talked freely for some time. In the morning I spent my time with them and we had a good time talking and watching Firefly together, as a family again. The rest of the day was fairly active after I said goodbye to one of my brothers and we ended up finishing the day making, and assembling while watching Wreck It Ralph, bookcases for their home. This work is something that I enjoy anyway and doing it with them was a bonus to the time. Now that I have made my goodbyes and returned home, with sawdust covering most of me, I can only think of how blessed I am to be a part of this family of friends.

Hope Springs Eternal

On I must trudge, moving forward, ever forward
to escape the pain of last gains and failed loves
Reaching, screeching, for another chance and
dying to find the light of a new dawn, a new day
Hoping and spraying that lost hopes would be renewed
that the bolstering of my courage continue to grow
allowing for all of life's magic to happen again and again
The fair lady, for whom my heart has shone for
escapes once again into the dark and the great unknown
Who knows whether the strength of the heart
should awaken again and rear its very proud head
for one more chance, another attempt at love,
the laughter that bubbles up out of well in the soul
For smiles and tears, for joy and for sorrow,
all these things I would cherish should I be in her arms
And sojourn on I must cleanse myself of the pain
and press forward ever chasing the phantom
of promise and the life I would love to live forever

Tribute to all of our Veterans

Remember us, a phrase every soldier holds deep within yet rarely utters out loud
for pride and honor hold bound the tongue of all who serve us and the freedom we cherish
Strong and brave, wearing the uniform and taking on the ugliness of the oncoming enemy
no words of remembrance were said, only the cries of fighting and dying men
fighting gallantly, sacrificing every ounce of their strength in toil towards victory
a victory which buys us a chance and making things right and living blessed lives
Remember us, clearly heard at every memorial ever made to honor the dead and their sacrifices
to the brave and strong we hold ourselves at a measure, for theirs is a more honest standard
one that was not corrupted by the politics of a society gone awry but an ideal in which we strive
these men are the symbols of that goal, a thing to be boasted of and hold accountable our words
let the cannons and gunpowder be heard, felt, smelt as though it were here among us
in a battlefield of our lives were we would fight for our own protectors, those soldiers
whose sweat and blood, by the thousands and hundreds of thousand We Remember

Her Smile and Eyes

I cannot stand it
her smile is in my mind and that sparkle that glints in her eyes is with it
taking me to pieces all over again. I thought that I could do this
to stand on my own and bear the weight of the crushing need,
the desperation to hold her in my arms and know that she is here,
solid, not just a ghost haunting the depths of my heart, seen as an aspiration
in the reality of my world as I lay, sit, stand and run from one place another
that desperation brings me now to pen and paper, writing out
the frustrations of a needing heart, one that should be full enough
after all I have Him who sustains all thing within, keeping me
but I still hunger for more, if that is not heretical to speak in audible syllables
the more isn't a mountain of gold, though I would trade it all for it
the filling of that piece, that one something that aches to be a part
the sheer hunger of the empty space within me, for a woman
a woman I know so little of and yet have spent so much time thinking of
the woman who's eyes and smile gnaw at the insides of my heart and soul
the torment that I endure, and with all good grace, would endure
should that woman decide and be a part of me, the one thing I want
the one syllable that I cannot utter because of the protection I swore
that I would not do as I know my heart would be most pleased in doing now
pursuing the beauty that intrigues my mind's eye and lulls me, as a siren
into the depths of its smothering and drenching passion and pleasure
of that smile and those eyes that haunt my day and night's dreams

Her Inside of Me

I don’t know how to explain it really, this thing which builds and grows,  burning inside of me

It's such a complicated thing, twisting me forwards and backwards while flipping my insides upside down

It makes my jump at ever sound and melt at the slightest thought, giving little heed to my own mind

 I don’t know if it's love again or if I'm having a heart attack but its driving my mind to a scary place

A place that I once walked and reveled in, but fear  now after having that world destroyed before

I don’t know that I could bear to stand losing it once again, let alone survive the joy of a new one

Could it be that there is someone else out there for me? Someone who I can sit at night by,

Enjoy the cool breeze with while staring up into the stars as they sparkle in the orbs that are her eyes,

Waiting for the sun to rise as we talk and enjoy the timelessness of being in her company

How I love to be with her and my heart leaps to hear her laugh, that sweet and bubbling thing

And her smile! It lifts my spirits and makes me soar like all new things in the time of Spring

I don’t know why or have any understanding of how I have been brought to this, a desperation for her

That over comes all my logic and rules as a man, breaking the bonds that I put on my own self

Forcing me to make a decision that I realize now I want to make, though I fear it with all that I am

Time will tell what happens and the choice that I make as I walk on the beach next to this beautiful

Woman

Stop the Hate

Hate. So serious and blatant in this world full of people angry and holding grudges
not letting the past go but holding on and making color, sex, religion, affiliation
determine the state of the society that we live in and negotiate the terms we use
to speak and interact with our fellow man and women but the story is
that we have no divisions or borders, that the people are one, no differences between us
What a joke, this imitation of an imaginary state of life that we keep in our eyes and lips,
smell and hear the realness of it but never accept the possibility that that we could
make the mindless faking of a dream a real remedy for the situation of our nation
changing prejudice to acceptance and segregated gang life to a multi-colored family
where even though you're black or because I'm a Christian, whatever the difference,
we can all live with each other with mutual respect and a genuine love because we know
that even though we come from difference place, people, beliefs and situations
there is so much that we share and have in common, having lived in this broken place
we affectionately call earth, and the differences we have just make living together better
because it makes every day interesting and enables us to learn from those things
It's not the differences that should make us hat but the intolerance of those things
because without them we don't have uniqueness, diversity or individuality
and the whole becomes one flat image when it should have been in three dimensions
So drop all of your disgusting issues and embrace the weird and out of your norm
that's someone else's every day, or was just the way that they were born
Love the person next to you and make them a part of who you are.