Her Smile and Eyes

I cannot stand it
her smile is in my mind and that sparkle that glints in her eyes is with it
taking me to pieces all over again. I thought that I could do this
to stand on my own and bear the weight of the crushing need,
the desperation to hold her in my arms and know that she is here,
solid, not just a ghost haunting the depths of my heart, seen as an aspiration
in the reality of my world as I lay, sit, stand and run from one place another
that desperation brings me now to pen and paper, writing out
the frustrations of a needing heart, one that should be full enough
after all I have Him who sustains all thing within, keeping me
but I still hunger for more, if that is not heretical to speak in audible syllables
the more isn't a mountain of gold, though I would trade it all for it
the filling of that piece, that one something that aches to be a part
the sheer hunger of the empty space within me, for a woman
a woman I know so little of and yet have spent so much time thinking of
the woman who's eyes and smile gnaw at the insides of my heart and soul
the torment that I endure, and with all good grace, would endure
should that woman decide and be a part of me, the one thing I want
the one syllable that I cannot utter because of the protection I swore
that I would not do as I know my heart would be most pleased in doing now
pursuing the beauty that intrigues my mind's eye and lulls me, as a siren
into the depths of its smothering and drenching passion and pleasure
of that smile and those eyes that haunt my day and night's dreams